I love all the versions of this story, because they're all so g'damn great. I hate the idea of anyone treating you, MY Amy Bee, so terribly. You never deserved that, ever.
I adore you, AB, my cosmic twin. Sending you the biggest virtual hug and hoping to give you a real one someday.
Wow! What a story, Amy. So sorry that you went through all this, including being treated as the aggressor. So fucked up!
Love that you're doing this series, sharing the page to stage versions. Congrats on being shortlisted at Memoir Magazine. No doubt it makes a killer stage story, too.
PS Even though your emails usually end up in my inbox, this one was in my Spam maybe because of the title...? Mentioning it in case other people originally missed it, too.
Thank you so much! Sometimes if I don’t give a photo a proper ‘alt text’ it will go to spam. I thought I did; apologies. I appreciate you reading my work, Natasha, and I know we have a pretty wide overlap in our process of “page to stage” so I will be super interested in hearing your thoughts when comparing this original to the two different onstage versions.
Amy, I thoroughly enjoy seeing your posts and writing. Soooo...on that story note, you're mentioning two different onstage versions. Do they exist here on Substack and if so, where may I find them?
Also, I'd like to start a Substack series where I discuss craft and process with creatives (keeping that loose because I also love so much of the nature photography and art I see here). Anyway, I've had a lot of fun chatting with you about this previously and you're at the top of my list, if you're interested. It would be an interview probably in print versus video. I know you're preparing for a lot of shows including that big comedy performance so no pressure and no expiration date. :)
I would be honored. Thank you. And I think it would be fun to highlight someone else's Page-to-Stage process once in a while over here. If I ever get around to it, it would be great to have you.
As for Spaces with Men, the short version is done. I’ll be sharing it in a post soon, but I think you can find it on @Nan Tepper‘s Wham-Bam page (It’s not letting me link). The longer version I think will debut in Placerville in the next few months. My goal? To see what happens if I keep it in the second tense. Can it be done? Can it be done by me? SHOULD it be done? Will it be powerful and entertaining? Can I do it without crying or getting so mad I Carrie the crowd? Stay tuned for these questions and more, answered!
I love that you’re playing with the length and tense. I’ll keep an eye out for that post. Will be curious to hear which version you prefer most or maybe it will be like different flavors of ice cream, a specific preference depending on the day.
Thank you so much! That was the nearing the end of that time in my life, which was truly chaotic and messy and painful for years and years. Once I finally ‘got safe’, I then had to deal with the aftermath, the looooong fingers of the past. But my life is completely different and I am learning to look at who I was with a little mercy and grace.
This is amazing! Well written. Wonderful pacing and very descriptive. I could see all of this happening. Break a leg next month on stage. Let us know how it goes.
Thank you, Kimberly! I appreciate you taking the time to read it. I’ll definitely let you know if it translates to the stage in the way I’m hoping it will.
wow Amy, so sorry this happened to you but so happy you are getting this out of your system so more by sharing it. What a fucked up system, though. Awful. Big hug
Hi Claire, I didn't know you were 'round here. Nice to 'see' you! Thanks for reading this story. It'll be interesting to see how it'll need to change to be told aloud.
Yes.. Different country different legislation but nonetheless.. I live alone, I pay my own bills. He was violent, refused to leave my place and I was terrified. Then being met with disapproving looks from the cops and comments like “It takes two..”
I wasn’t taken in but later charged with armed assault, because I tried to use a defect pepperspray after he decided to stomp on me and take my place apart, I was out on the balcony as they carried him out. My bruises weren’t sufficient documentation it was decided, the defect pepper spray charges fell as well. It all fell, because it takes two to tango, they say.. It may be my home and he shouldn’t have been there cos I told him to leave, but hey..
Felt so strong and capable going to work the day after in spite of the headache, only to have to deal with being the dickless part of a team of 3 supervisors. Why should my collegue carry his lunch platters from the back office back to the cantina when he was done? why shouldn’t I do 7 day weeks and zig zag from late to early shift, cos my collegues wanted to go on holiday simultaneously and had decided that it was “fair”..
Who was fired for making a shift plan that is actually legal in this country and asking an apprentice to cover ONE shift, so I’d be physically capable of doing all the booked massages I was also hired to do? The patriarchal world is a 5 star clusterfuck..
Amy, I feel like the tornado just picked me up and threw me back to Kansas. Admittedly I've been standing on the thin line between being present with you in this story, while being pulled back into my own fearful moments from the past. Part of me wants to be fully present with you and hold my feelings at bay, but you asked. If we aren't pulled into a story like this, if we aren't feeling our teeth grinding into the shag carpet, if our heart rate doesn't go up listening to words like c*** thrown like shards of metal—then we're not really listening. This is vulnerable and I'm enraged. Well done.
Fuuuuck! You’ve lived a life! I would have never suspected the painfully quiet girl I saw in comedy class was harboring SO MUCH inside. I’m in awe that you’re on stage now letting these fly free. Once the kids are back in school I hope to be able to see you perform 🤩🏆❤️
Your comment about men would rather play the hero than see a girl as a peer struck a cord. You manipulated the situation perfectly with your coworker. Helpless is a role I’ve always detested. I know exactly what you mean when you say male egos are frail. I hate that women have to shrink to meet a man’s character. 😤
I love all the versions of this story, because they're all so g'damn great. I hate the idea of anyone treating you, MY Amy Bee, so terribly. You never deserved that, ever.
I adore you, AB, my cosmic twin. Sending you the biggest virtual hug and hoping to give you a real one someday.
xoN
Thank you, Nan! I shall mete out your digital hug in daily doses of Nan love.
You don’t need to mete it out. I can send you a fresh one every day.
They don’t run out. xo
Smooooooch!
SWAK!!!
Wow! What a story, Amy. So sorry that you went through all this, including being treated as the aggressor. So fucked up!
Love that you're doing this series, sharing the page to stage versions. Congrats on being shortlisted at Memoir Magazine. No doubt it makes a killer stage story, too.
PS Even though your emails usually end up in my inbox, this one was in my Spam maybe because of the title...? Mentioning it in case other people originally missed it, too.
Thank you so much! Sometimes if I don’t give a photo a proper ‘alt text’ it will go to spam. I thought I did; apologies. I appreciate you reading my work, Natasha, and I know we have a pretty wide overlap in our process of “page to stage” so I will be super interested in hearing your thoughts when comparing this original to the two different onstage versions.
Amy, I thoroughly enjoy seeing your posts and writing. Soooo...on that story note, you're mentioning two different onstage versions. Do they exist here on Substack and if so, where may I find them?
Also, I'd like to start a Substack series where I discuss craft and process with creatives (keeping that loose because I also love so much of the nature photography and art I see here). Anyway, I've had a lot of fun chatting with you about this previously and you're at the top of my list, if you're interested. It would be an interview probably in print versus video. I know you're preparing for a lot of shows including that big comedy performance so no pressure and no expiration date. :)
I would be honored. Thank you. And I think it would be fun to highlight someone else's Page-to-Stage process once in a while over here. If I ever get around to it, it would be great to have you.
As for Spaces with Men, the short version is done. I’ll be sharing it in a post soon, but I think you can find it on @Nan Tepper‘s Wham-Bam page (It’s not letting me link). The longer version I think will debut in Placerville in the next few months. My goal? To see what happens if I keep it in the second tense. Can it be done? Can it be done by me? SHOULD it be done? Will it be powerful and entertaining? Can I do it without crying or getting so mad I Carrie the crowd? Stay tuned for these questions and more, answered!
Awesome! I’d be honored, too.
I love that you’re playing with the length and tense. I’ll keep an eye out for that post. Will be curious to hear which version you prefer most or maybe it will be like different flavors of ice cream, a specific preference depending on the day.
Sending light and love. I’ve been there with women and men. Thank you for telling your story.
Thank you for reading. I wish this wasn’t the thing a lot of us have in common! Light and love to you, too. 💜
This is a powerful story. I'm sorry for what you went through and I hope you are fully through the other side of it all now.
Thank you so much! That was the nearing the end of that time in my life, which was truly chaotic and messy and painful for years and years. Once I finally ‘got safe’, I then had to deal with the aftermath, the looooong fingers of the past. But my life is completely different and I am learning to look at who I was with a little mercy and grace.
This is amazing! Well written. Wonderful pacing and very descriptive. I could see all of this happening. Break a leg next month on stage. Let us know how it goes.
Thank you, Kimberly! I appreciate you taking the time to read it. I’ll definitely let you know if it translates to the stage in the way I’m hoping it will.
wow Amy, so sorry this happened to you but so happy you are getting this out of your system so more by sharing it. What a fucked up system, though. Awful. Big hug
Hi Claire, I didn't know you were 'round here. Nice to 'see' you! Thanks for reading this story. It'll be interesting to see how it'll need to change to be told aloud.
Yes! That's how it fucking goes -_-
!! A rigged and unfulfillable and ever-shifting system. Ugh.
Yes.. Different country different legislation but nonetheless.. I live alone, I pay my own bills. He was violent, refused to leave my place and I was terrified. Then being met with disapproving looks from the cops and comments like “It takes two..”
I wasn’t taken in but later charged with armed assault, because I tried to use a defect pepperspray after he decided to stomp on me and take my place apart, I was out on the balcony as they carried him out. My bruises weren’t sufficient documentation it was decided, the defect pepper spray charges fell as well. It all fell, because it takes two to tango, they say.. It may be my home and he shouldn’t have been there cos I told him to leave, but hey..
Felt so strong and capable going to work the day after in spite of the headache, only to have to deal with being the dickless part of a team of 3 supervisors. Why should my collegue carry his lunch platters from the back office back to the cantina when he was done? why shouldn’t I do 7 day weeks and zig zag from late to early shift, cos my collegues wanted to go on holiday simultaneously and had decided that it was “fair”..
Who was fired for making a shift plan that is actually legal in this country and asking an apprentice to cover ONE shift, so I’d be physically capable of doing all the booked massages I was also hired to do? The patriarchal world is a 5 star clusterfuck..
Amy, I feel like the tornado just picked me up and threw me back to Kansas. Admittedly I've been standing on the thin line between being present with you in this story, while being pulled back into my own fearful moments from the past. Part of me wants to be fully present with you and hold my feelings at bay, but you asked. If we aren't pulled into a story like this, if we aren't feeling our teeth grinding into the shag carpet, if our heart rate doesn't go up listening to words like c*** thrown like shards of metal—then we're not really listening. This is vulnerable and I'm enraged. Well done.
Laury thank you for the beautiful response and for standing in these strange, liminal areas with me, even though, even though. I’m glad you’re here.
🫶 It's a gripping, empathy inducing story, Amy. You're so good.
Thank you Nan for a great reminder to pay closer attention to the unspoken rules of the spaces we move through every day
Thank you, Tim, for taking the time to read this piece of mine!
It was my pleasure.
This is so freaking good, Amy. And by good, I mean devastating in all the right ways, which are of course, wrong ways.
Thank you for reading this, Dina. And, you know things just got wronger and wronger, like some fucked up Alice in Wonderland. 🙄😁
Fuuuuck! You’ve lived a life! I would have never suspected the painfully quiet girl I saw in comedy class was harboring SO MUCH inside. I’m in awe that you’re on stage now letting these fly free. Once the kids are back in school I hope to be able to see you perform 🤩🏆❤️
Your comment about men would rather play the hero than see a girl as a peer struck a cord. You manipulated the situation perfectly with your coworker. Helpless is a role I’ve always detested. I know exactly what you mean when you say male egos are frail. I hate that women have to shrink to meet a man’s character. 😤
Yes! I was in such a fucked up conundrum with my co-worker. I never figured out how to get out of it, actually. Thank you so much for reading this!
Not my story, at least not in this life time.
But I sure read it like it was.
Just because I didn’t end up face down in the carpet, doesn’t mean my life wasn’t filled with the same fucked up themes.
Very Powerful! Thank you!